


It’s such a perfect day for a little shopping, don’t you think?

by Cloud_Lightning



Category: Big Little Lies (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/F, Polyamory, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 17:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud_Lightning/pseuds/Cloud_Lightning
Summary: Jane smiled as the others continued to tease Madeline. She looked over to the beach, where all of their children were playing. She saw Celeste from the corner of her eyes, looking at her softly and so full of love. A nearly imperceptible smile graced the taller woman’s lips, and Jane, impulsive as ever, kissed the corner of her lips, making Celeste laugh in the process.“What was that for?”Jane shrugged. “Just happy, I guess.”“I’m glad you’re happy.” She smiled serenely, per usual, and linked their hands together. “It’s a good look on you.”Jane squeezed their joined hands and laid her head on Celeste’s shoulder, content in watching Madeline tackling Renata to the sand while Chloe roared in laughter.Everything was fine now, they got each other’s back.They have each other, and that’s more than enough.





	It’s such a perfect day for a little shopping, don’t you think?

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes im late a year to this fandom. and thanks to vallern for beta this mess

“I’m sorry, you want to buy a what?” Celeste stopped working and blinked in confusion.

“Don’t make me repeat it!” She hissed in a much lower voice than before. Madeline looked so embarrassed, which was a feat considering it was _Madeline_. Fiery, shameless, brazen Madeline was embarrassed? It must be something big.

“Maddie, sweetie.” She pulled Madeline towards her. “I’m sorry, but I really don’t hear you.”

“Iwantustobuyasexbench.” Madeline mumbled something to Celeste’s chest.

“A bunch of sex?” Celeste’s brows furrowed in confusion. Did she heard that right? “What? Like more than we have now?”

Madeline groaned, frustrated. She wiggled out of Celeste’s embrace and pushed her laptop to Celeste so she could see what she meant.

Celeste blinked a few times when she saw what kind of web Madeline was currently looking.

(At least it wasn’t Abigail’s Facebook page. Her girlfriend—that still took some time to get used to—had no boundaries when it came to her daughters; something that Celeste and Jane tried to taught her.)

“Oh, that.” Celeste felt her cheeks reddened.

It was a website for sex toys, with really such a big range of varieties. You can even costume-made a toy. And Madeline was currently looking at a page about sex bench.

“Well,” Celeste cleared her throat, “the red one looks good.” She wasn’t a prude, but there was bound to be a lot of whiplash when she went from a marriage with a man for years to a throuple with two women, one half her age and one her best friend. This was one of that whiplash. Who knew Madeline was so kinky?

“Really? Are you okay with this?” Madeline was looking at her with that _look_ , the one reserved only when the three of them talking about sex. “Look, we can just forget about this. I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened to me, showing this to you and…”

God, it has been a year, but it felt like Perry’s ghost still linger here, next to her and Jane. Suffocating both of them, making them froze and unable to move because of fear and pain and agony.

But Madeline was there, with them, for them, on every steps they took. Helping them, encourage them, showering them with love and affection and gentleness that they never had before.

Last year was exhausting; it felt like a never-ending nightmare. The detective didn’t make it easier as well, sniffing around the five of them, trying to figure it out the truth. And as if it wasn’t hard enough for them, Perry’s mother came here, trying to help Celeste. She didn’t take the truth that well, but in the end, that’s all that mattered.

“Maddie, we’ve talked about this.” Celeste sighed deeply and hugged Madeline tightly, but not too tight. She still remembered every time Perry hugged her like this, too tight, as if he was trying to trap Celeste (and he did). Celeste didn’t want that happen to Maddie, so they had a talk. How tight was too tight, where it was okay to touch them.

“If it is you, we’re fine.” She kissed the top of Madeline’s head. Lavender and honey invaded her nostrils, which means that she used Celeste’s shampoo…again. But it felt so calming, so she didn’t even complain about it.

“Okay, but we’ll ask Jane and if she doesn’t want this, then no sex bench for us.”

Celeste chuckled and started swaying slowly with Madeline nestled deep within her arms. “Of course. But I’m sure me and Jane could find another way to please you,” she whispered against Madeline’s jawline.

Celeste needed to learn a thing or two about music from Chloe. She had such amazing taste for music for a kid her age. The two of them still swaying, the gentle vocal and instrument hummed softly from Celeste’s new sound system.

She sold the house, Perry’s house. She cancelled the “safe house” that she was planning to buy before Perry died. Thankfully, there was one unit big enough for her and Jane at the same place.

After Mary Louise left, Celeste asked Jane to move in with her. It felt like out of nowhere, but at the same time, it felt right. Even when Mary Louise was staying with Celeste, she spent lots of time with Jane. Bonding over their trauma because of Perry Wright. How fucked up was that?

The house was not as big as Perry’s, but bigger than the one Celeste picked as her “safe house”. And it was on the first floor, with direct access to the beach. It was perfect. When Jane saw the house, she raised one eyebrow and remark about how “ _not too big_ ” for Celeste was “ _man, this is so freaking_ _big_ ” for Jane.

Somewhere deep down, Celeste felt a pang of guilt when she found out that Perry actually wrote a will and gave everything to her and the boys, he didn’t give anything to his mother. She talked about this with Madeline and Jane, how she felt guilty for what happened.

Madeline slapped her.

No one talked or moved after that, Madeline’s face was white as a ghost, her hand still hanging in the air, shaking violently. Celeste was holding her reddened cheek, looking at Madeline with wide eyes; Jane’s body was rigid as a stone, unable to move between the two women. The three of them were sitting on the floor, watching an old movie on mute with the subtitle on. All the kids were already asleep.

Madeline began to apologize over and over as she tried to touch Celeste. But on reflex, she slapped Madeline’s hand. Her muscle memories were still trying to defend her, even though the situation was different. She was no longer in danger, not anymore. It was Madeline, not Perry. Still, it was hard.

Jane grabbed Madeline’s hands when she wanted to touch Celeste again and shook her head. The two of them sat still, watching Celeste trying to process everything. Celeste’s body began to shake, and then she sobbed into her hands.

That’s when Madeline hugged Celeste while apologizing for hitting her. Celeste shook her head, saying how Madeline shouldn’t apologize for doing that. Madeline was right; Celeste shouldn’t feel guilty for what happened to Perry. The two of them hugged Celeste tightly, the three of them hugged each other so tightly. The three of them cried together.

Ziggy was the one come out from the room he shared with Josh and Max, and Chloe came out not long after that. Seeing their mothers piled up on the floor and crying, Ziggy hurriedly went to his mother’s side and hugged her while Chloe did the same. Josh and Max were confused at first, but then they engulfed their mother with the tightest hug they ever gave Celeste.

Celeste never had this before.

Perry hugged her many times, she was his wife after all.

With Perry, even before all the hitting start, sometimes his touch felt like it was leaving something on Celeste’s skin. Something dark and dreadful; something dirty that made her never felt clean again, no matter how hard she tried to rinse it off.

But Madeline’s touch was warm and firm on her back.

But Jane’s touch, calming and unsure on her shoulder.

Josh’s and Max’s little hands on her waist, clinging on her for dear life.

And Celeste never felt this lucky before.

 

* * *

 

The front door opened, and Celeste could hear Renata’s voice faintly.

“And as I was saying, that would be good, don’t you think?”

Renata, Bonnie, and Jane were walking to the kitchen.

Madeline smiled widely as she watched them. “How was the shopping trip?”

“Exhausting.” Renata groaned as she dropped the grocery bag. “I swear to god, sometimes women are fucking annoying.”

“Renata.” Bonnie shook her head.

“What, it’s true!” Renata pointed to Bonnie using a carrot. “You know those women are watching us. It’s like they’re hoping we would start a fucking orgy in the middle of the market!”

“We didn’t start an orgy or threesome in the middle of the market, if you want to know,” Jane chuckled.

“Well, I’ll be sad if you guys start an orgy without me and Celeste,” Madeline said before she kissed Jane softly. “Hi.”

“Hi to you too,” Jane said back softly.

“Hello darling,” Celeste said as she took Jane’s hand tenderly and kissed the back of her hand.

Jane smiled and kissed Celeste’s cheek. “Hi.”

“You think after a year people would stop gawking at us,” Bonnie grumbled and began helping Renata unpacking their groceries. “But I guess the Monterey Five is still that hot gossip in town.”

Jane snuggled into Celeste’s side after she washed her hands. She drank Madeline’s water. After what happened at the Trivia Night, Madeline began to stop drinking. It’s not that Madeline had a drinking problem, at least not yet. And she wanted to keep it that way.

"No, it will just getting worse.” Renata sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “God, why can’t they just get a fucking job and stop gossiping about people’s lives?”

“Renata,” Madeline shook her head. “That words implying that I’m some sort of gossip mongrel.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

Madeline was quiet for a while until she shrugged. “No, it was accurate actually. But then again, working women also love to gossip.”

Renata rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Celeste said. She looked over at Jane. “Jane, Madeline and I were thinking about buying a sex bench.” She pointed to Madeline’s laptop.

Bonnie and Renata stopped moving, both of them raised their eyebrows respectively.

“What? We want to spice up our sex lives,” Madeline shrugged.

Bonnie chuckled. “Okay, mad respect. Just make sure there will no one that could accidentally walked-in you guys again like the last time.”

Renata shook her head, smirking. “I mean, I get it, the heat of a passion, but have a little decorum.”

“Oh, fuck decorum!”

Both Bonnie and Renata laughed out loud at that.

“I thought you’re not that kind of person, Madeline?”

“Oh, shush.” Madeline threw a rag at Renata. She looked over at Jane, “So, what do you think?”

Jane was looking at the computer for a few minutes, then she cleared her throat and asked, “So, how many we should buy?”

Celeste laughed and wrapped Jane with one hand, Madeline snuggled deeper into her other side. “I’m thinking, two? Just in case someone breaks it.”

“Okay, that was one time!” Madeline hissed.

“How the fuck do you even break a fucking dildo, Madeline?” Renata laughed.

Jane smiled as the others continue to tease Madeline, she looked over to the beach, where all of their children were playing. She saw Celeste from the corner of her eyes, they both smiled.

“Mom, we’re hungry!” Chloe yelled as she walked inside the house. Ziggy, Skye, Amabella, Josh, and Max were not far from Chloe.

“Sorry, I can’t stop them,” Abigail shrugged lazily.

Madeline rolled her eyes. “Alright fine, can you guys help me set the table?”

“No,” Chloe said at the same time Ziggy, Skye, and Amabella yelled, “Sure!” and Josh and Max nodded their heads eagerly.

Jane laughed. “Alright kids, come on.”

As Jane and Madeline moved away from Celeste to set the table, Abigail started moving toward Madeline’s laptop.

“Hey, Mom, can I borrow your laptop for a sec?” She already held Madeline’s laptop. “I need to see–what the fuck!” She pushed the laptop away from her in disgust.

“Abigail, language!” Madeline said as she tried to cover Chloe’s ears.

“Well, I’m sorry, I wasn’t prepared to see my mother’s shopping habit for her sex life!”

“Oh my god,” Madeline went pale.

“Oh shoot, I forget to close the tab!” Jane yelled.

Celeste pinched the bridge of her nose while Renata was cackling, clearly enjoying the situation.

 

* * *

 

“God, I can’t believe we’re currently watching the movie that you used to sabotage Amabella’s birthday party.” Renata tucked her feet.

All of the children were sitting on the floor, currently almost too close to the TV screen. Keyword, almost. Madeline would never allow that. They were watching _Frozen_ , of all movies.

Madeline sat between Celeste and Jane, with Celeste’s head on her lap and Jane’s head on her shoulder. “Well that’s all in the past,” Madeline said with the diplomatic tone while stroking Celeste’s hair.

Abigail snorted. “Sure.”

“Hey,” Madeline tried to poke Abigail’s calf but failed. The teenager just swatted her hand.

“How’s your start-up thing going, Abby?” Celeste looked over to Abigail.

“Eh, it’s going. I mean that’s the reason why I wanted to borrow Mom’s laptop in the first place,” Abigail rolled her eyes. “Before I accidentally saw a glimpse into your sex life.”

Renata laughed at that.

“You’re clearly enjoying this, aren’t you?” Bonnie asked, amused.

Renata sipped her drink. “Oh, very much.”

“Thanks again for helping her with her job, Celeste.” Madeline stroked Celeste’s cheek. “I’m still not sure how it works, but I’m not that worried now that you have her back.”

“Hey, I’m not that helpless!”

Celeste waved her hand like it was nothing. “Well, I’m just using my contacts. I still have some clouts between all those lawyers, you know.”

Jane blinked. “Oh speaking of lawyers, tomorrow is your last day for the community service, right?”

“Yes.” Celeste smiled.

The five of them argued about this for a very long time. Arguing behind the detective and Perry’s mother were hard, but Celeste made her choice. It was the best option they had at that time, so no one goes to jail. So she took it. Six months of community service and she chose to provide some legal advice for the convicts. And it was actually good, both for herself and the community.

“I was thinking of continue of doing it,” Celeste said.

“Giving free legal advices?” Madeline asked.

“Yes. I mean, with Perry’s money, the twin’s education are secure, so I don’t have to worry about it. And as for daily needs, well,” Celeste chuckled lightly. “I was once a really good lawyer with a really big paycheck.”

This part was usually where Celeste felt a pang of guilt because Perry _was_ a good father. But then she remembered everything he has done to her and Jane, and suddenly the guilt was gone like smoke.

“Just prepare for what those screaming banshee will say about you,” Renata said. “As if they forget the part where Perry abused you and raped Jane, they only saw a woman killed her husband and drinking wine while enjoying the money from her dead husband.”

The adults stopped talking, but fortunately the children didn’t hear any of it, too busy singing along with Idina Menzel singing _Let it Go_. Abigail was too busy on her phone, much to Madeline’s relief.

Renata took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

“But it’s true,” Celeste said. “And you should say it.”

“Why are women attacking each other, I don’t understand.” Madeline shook her head. When she saw Renata gave her a ‘you-fucking-hypocrite’ look, she raised her hands. “Alright, I did that too, in the past. But I mean, they knew the reason, are they still going to think like that?”

“We can’t control people’s opinion about us,” Celeste said.

“That’s depressing,” Madeline mumbled.

Sensing the gloominess in the room, Abigail finally looked up from her phone cleared her throat. “So, is that why you guys want to buy sex bench? For celebrating?”

Everyone visibly relaxed.

“Well…” Madeline bit her lips.

“You know what, forget it, I don’t want to know.”

“Hey, you’re the one that asked!”

 

* * *

 

The first time she moved here, the sound of the waves amazed her. When the sun was out and the light was reflecting on the surface of the ocean. When it was night, especially when the night was too dark and there were no stars or moon above the sky, leaving the ocean all alone, the sound of the waves shocked her, just a little; she was a light sleeper after all. But as times went one, the sound had a calming effect.

But sometimes it made her scared, for their mighty roar swallowed her own cries of pain and whimpers of agony.

Another time she was grateful to the waves, protecting her children from listening to everything that happened behind them.

But even so, not even the might of an ocean could help her.

Or at least, that was she thought.

The ocean always helped. The ocean was life and death, dancing together with a beat of harmonies from the moon far above them. And the ocean always helps, you just need to know the perfect moment to ask for their help.

And they will give you life and death at the same time.

“I can’t believe you let Madeline chose the pink one.”

Celeste looked from over her shoulder to see Renata walked towards her, holding two glass of water. They already had too many drinks and Renata still need to drive back home.

Celeste chuckled as she took the glass from Renata. “Well, we did buy the red one as well.”

Renata sat next to Celeste on the sand, looking over the vast ocean in front of them.

“The ocean is fascinating, isn’t it?”

Renata looked over at Celeste.

“We thought we know everything about it, and yet, when we look deeper, it’s so much more than that. So much more we didn’t know. Full of secrets in the darkness.”

“Just like a human.”

“Just like a human,” Celeste agreed.

“You know, I’m really glad when Perry’s mom left,” Renata said.

“Really?” Celeste looked at her, confused.

“I don’t understand how can you stand her, and that’s coming from me.”

“Do you remember that Madeline once threw an ice cream at her?”

“Oh, I remember.” Renata laughed. “God, that was such a mess. But she deserved it. Although I’m still curious what made Madeline did that. I mean, every time I asked her, she just said that Mary Louise deserved it because she’s being a bitch. Not really the explanation I was hoping for.”

“She won’t tell me either.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I tried everything.” Celeste laughed. “She didn’t tell me. And now every time Mary Louise called, she always reminds me to stay away from Madeline.”

“She didn’t know about…”

“No, and honestly, my relationship with Madeline and Jane isn’t her business. Why should I tell her?”

Renata nodded her agreement. “I’ll drink to that.” She clinked her glass with Celeste’s.

The two of them sat in silence, the argument from inside became white noises, swallowed by the mighty roar of the ocean.

Celeste looked over her shoulder, and she saw Madeline was standing with her hands on her hips. “Is she still arguing with Abigail?”

“She sure is. She’s still pissed because Abigail is now a VP for a nonprofit start-up instead of neck deep in student loan.” Renata shook her head. “And don’t tell Madeline this, but I agree with Abby,” she stage-whispered.

Celeste laughed. “Why can’t I tell her that?”

“Then she knows she’s right, and I don’t want that,” Renata said. “Besides, it’s much more fulfilling than going to college when you know you don’t want it. And again, the debt. Did you know I finally paid all of my student loan when I was in my mid-30s? Abby is smart about that, at least.”

“The two of you are ridiculous sometimes, no wonder everyone thought the five of us are in a relationship.”

“Fucking hell, just because they saw me and Madeline still bickering at each other even after what we’re going through last year, and they thought we are all secretly fucking each other.”

Celeste shrugged. “You know how they are.”

“I’m really happy for the three of you. Maybe I didn’t say it more often, but I really am. Even though I’m the last one that realized it.”

“Well, if it wasn’t for Chloe and Bonnie, the three of us wouldn’t realize it either.” Celeste chuckled. “Although I’m amazed because Gordon didn’t seem to be affected by the gossip.”

“For once his big ego actually helped me.” Renata sighed, but there’s a hint of affection there. “He’s more worried about my reaction of finding out about it, and the safety of the people that spread the gossip,” Renata tsked. “And he’s right.”

“Well, they deserve it.” Celeste smirked.

“Speaking about Gordon, are you sure you don’t want to work with him? I’m sorry, but I promised him to ask you one more time.”

Celeste smiled. “I’m really honored that Gordon wants me to work with him, but I’ve already made up my mind. Doing this community service really reminds me of why I wanted to be a lawyer in the first place.”

“What, kicking ass in court?”

“That, and also helping people. Every time I saw my client’s face when we win,” Celeste sighed happily. “it felt so amazing. And I want that.”

“Well, you did kick my ass that one time, so…”

“I mean, I also love to win at court,” Celeste smirked. “but that’s just a bonus.”

“I’m really happy to see you practicing again, you know.”

“Me too,” Celeste said with a trembling voice.

Renata touched Celeste’s wrist, her smile was soft. “You’re going to kick ass at this.”

Celeste laughed and wiped away her tears. “I know that, but thanks for reminding me.”

“Come on, let’s get inside before Madeline come over here and drag us into her argument with Abigail.”

Celeste accepted Renata’s hand, and the two of them walked together, side by side.

**Author's Note:**

> still on tumblr? boi me too, hmu @nightwhite13


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